Here’s a quick way to test whether you understand what’s going on or whether you are still clueless like me.

Scenario

There are three people on a bus going to the beach. One person says “Does anyone want a newspaper?”

The correct answer is:

1. No, I’m fully up-to-speed with the day’s events already thanks.
2. Yes, please. I’d like to check up on the opinions of the cognoscenti.
3. There’s a purveyor of newsprint on the corner. Hold on a sec, I’ll get one for you.

Scenario

During a telephone conversation, the caller says “We have no food in the house. You should pick something up for yourself and your daughter. Some chinese or something.”

The correct interpretation is:

1. We have no food in the house. If you are hungry, you should pick up something you like. Make sure it’s something your daughter likes too.
2. Your daughter is hungry. She likes chinese food. Please bring her some.
3. Please bring me some chinese food.

I always get these questions wrong. I think I am missing an important component of comprehension. An X chromosome or something.